in 2009 our ongoing coverage of the pedophile epidemic in the Catholic Church will be at City fAngels5. in 2010 at CityofAngels8
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Imagine All the Bishops, Doing What He Said To Do--ooh-ooh-hoo-ooh, You May Say I Have The Audacity To Dream.
By Kay Ebeling
In 1994 I fantasized that the church would respond exactly like the Pope told the bishops to respond last week, with compassion for the victims. When my daughter turned five and I started to remember what happened to me when I was five, I had The Audacity To Imagine I’d go to the Chicago Archdiocese and tell them what Father Horne did to me and my sister, and like the Christian loving community the Catholic Church is, they would welcome us with open arms. The archbishop of Chicago himself would lean over me and say, “What can we do for you to make up for this horrendous crime?”
Since the Archbishop of Chicago stood over me in 1955 when I was seven years old and told me to stop babbling (and showing other children the moves Father Horne had shown me), this more recent fantasy is poignant. I imagined, in 1994 and in 2001 and 2004 and 2005 and 2007 each time I tried, that an archbishop would reach out to me and this time it would be different. It never was.
IMAGINE: The true story comes out, including whatever the church is covering up so desperately that they allowed these pedophiles to get at us. Imagine the truth of the total damage to the victims comes out, in spite of the power of PR, pseudo-advocacy, and media control, whatever tactics the church has used, from the start, to shoot down the crime victims and keep the true felonies performed on children from ever being public.
IMAGINE: Cardinal Roger Mahony has a spiritual awakening, (not like the fiction book that came out last year). The cardinal’s background leaves him a perfect way out of the mess he’s helped make the church. Imagine Mahony resigning as Archbishop and doing social work in LA pro bono. He speaks Spanish. It could happen. Mahony could slip into the third world, in LA it's just below Wilshire, and disappear.
IMAGINE: As the now Mr. Mahony resigns, he makes a powerful speech about the horrendous Sex Crimes in the Catholic Church. He says he can no longer take part in the archdiocese cover-up of crimes, and he will answer any questions from now on candidly, even if he incriminates himself.
IMAGINE: As the new Mr. Roger Mahony leaves the temple, he brings with him mounds of incriminating evidence all boxed up and addressed to go directly to Kay Ebeling c/o City of Angels Network in East Hollywood).
IMAGINE: It took a reader to tell me I wasn’t a flirt at age seven. I was squirming.
In 2004 I had a new fantasy when I connected with someone in the LA archdiocese, that the church would reach out and ask, What can we do for you. Back then the thought of a lawsuit had never crossed my mind. I just imagined I would get help from the church which had damaged me, the church that preaches this message of Confession and Penance and Reconciliation. (To read the story of my encounter with the LA archdiocese’s Sister Sheila, read January 8, 2008 post.)
One reader pointed out about the last post, I referred to myself as “flirting” when I was 7 years old with Father Horne in a previous post. The reader reminded me a 7 year old girl does not flirt, as she doesn't know what flirting is.
I should have changed the word to “squirm” not “flirt.”
Weirder still, I left out the second half of my connection to “impure thoughts:”
Father Horne taught me to talk dirty, in the Confessional. He got me in that dark place and taught me these dirty words, fantasies that involve ideas no little girl would know, and yet those “impure thoughts” are with me to this day.
He had me talking dirty to him in the Confessional at age seven.
Then in 1953 we moved to from Illinois to California and I went to Confession in a new church for us, somewhere near San Marino. When I began repeating what Father Horne taught me to say, the priest ran out of the confessional with his eyes bugging out and his mouth wide open going ‘GAAAAAAH” I came out of my side and didn't understand what I’d done wrong.
He just wanted me out of that church that minute. One of my first experiences of people despising me when I didn't know why.
My mom came out from the pew where she waited, and biting her lip, she led me out of the church.
Hmm, it was Father Horne’s fantasies then,
I IMAGINE MY OWN
A lot of people have disappeared, been shot down not only by the church but by the movement. Write to me
IMAGINE: Me starting this blog, after being shot down trying to be an advocate over and over again, even by persons who identify themselves as advocates. I almost had no imagination left in me at all in January 2007. Then I started the blog and got rejuvenated.
IMAGINE: Me instead of quitting, instead of letting them defeat me, starting a blog and turning into a new person.
If you're one of the victims of Sex Crimes in the Catholic Church, and you've tried to organize an event, and you've been shot down and because of that you quit, get in touch with me. I’ll teach you how to start a blog or we'll do something...
If you want to talk and go public and put your story out there forever,
What you've gone through with the church, what you've gone through with advocacy,
Once it’s out there on a blog, it’s out there. No one can take it down but you.
I’ll show you how to start a blog.
And begin publishing your own version of the truth about Sex Crimes in the Catholic Church.
Don’t Be Scared
If you're doing what's Right, there’s nothing to be scared of
In my ghetto Bible Study groups there’s another topic that keeps coming up, the Power of God, especially in the last few weeks, as in, DON’T BE SCARED to do what you know is right. A lot of us have to do things that are frightening, but if you're praying and God is with you, there’s no reason to be scared.
Whatever happens, if you're praying and in a relationship with God, do what you have to do, and whatever happens is all right.
Don’t Be Scared.
We need to be brave.
IMAGINE: Someone who is still a priest or monsignor, still inside the confines of the church, has a spiritual awakening and realizes it’s time to come forward with what they know.
And that brave soul will contact me and pass me a briefcase or a box or a blue dress, something that starts to tell whatever it is the church was covering up when they refused to stop the pedophiles.
What were they covering up when they let the pedophiles get to the children? There’s more story here that needs to be dug out.
IMAGINE: That priest or nun or accountant, or even a suddenly rejoiced Cardinal Mahony, will bring me the equivalent of Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress, so that City of Angels Blog nee Network can get more than 300 readers every post.
IMAGINE: Today that the true nature of the Sex Crimes in the Catholic Church will come out.
That all the powers of PR
And whatever tactics the church has used,
From the start,
To shoot down the crime victims and keep the total details of the crimes from ever becoming Public --
We will be able to bypass all those obstacles
Even the “movement” seems to have put in front of us.
And be able to tell the total story of crimes committed from the bishops on down
Put your story out in a blog. Then it’s there for the world to see freely. And once it’s published, what can the bad guys do?
IMAGINE: All the victims and advocates who have felt shot down and quit coming, coming back, even the ones who just decided to quit after New York and Washington last week.
Quitting accomplishes nothing except to let the bad guys win. There’s a couple more activists who quit after events Washington and New York last week. Please don’t quit.
If you feel like you got shot down trying to do something about your priest rape cases, contact me. I’ll teach you how to start a blog at least.
We have to do something.
We can’t let them get away with this
Last week the pope told bishops around the country to look at the crime victims as individuals and reach out to them with mercy. So here I go imagining things again, that any minute the phone will ring and Cardinal George will be on the line saying, “What can we do for you to make up for this horrendous crime. The resources of the Church are here to help you.”
MEANWHILE, I type every word everybody says, with every utterance on my paid job, perfect training for covering jury trials, first one the Salesian cases coming up.
For the last 10 years I’ve had this job you have to call bizarre.
There are only about 30 of us in the world.
Transcribers for Reality TV shows.
See whenever they do reality TV, they go out to homes and far flung places and video ALL THIS STUFF, and someone has to go through it all. That's what I do. I go through raw videos for shows like E! True Hollywood Story and Extreme Makeover, and write down everything that's going on in the B-Roll, (with angles and time codes every 30 seconds) plus I write verbatim everything they say, word for word, including every “um” “you know”-- to get my pay rate up, I developed ways to transcribe faster and faster. Now it takes me about an hour to transcribe a half-hour tape.
Here is where the
Nothing Happens In God’s World By Mistake part happens:
As it so happens, as we begin the Salesian trial next week, I can sit in the courtroom and write down everything the lawyers and the judges and the witnesses say, because I now transcribe half the speed that people speak, the speed of speech if I can leave out the "uh's" and "you know's," a skill I learned long before I ever knew I'd be doing this reporting.
Do you see the miracle there?
Because I’ve been doing this weird job in reality TV for 10 years, I'm able to do this blog.
I'm one of 30 or so people in the world who do this kind of transcription.
It's a God thing.
Saturday night for a show called "America's Greatest Dog" I transcribed future lines of dialogue from a future male model in a bark park with his dog:
“No, [STAMMERS] my dog has been amazing, just, uh, putting me into like, you know, a pattern of like a schedule.”
Dear Mr. Fantasy, like in the video box above, Imagine the whole story -- all the crimes, the total truth, published here at City of Angels Network.
That picture at the top inside the post, that's me, Nancy Drew. And above that is a video box with Dear Mr. Fantasy, music that fed my nascent imagination.
Onward. . .
IT OCCURS to me that people don’t understand when I say “Please Click the PayPal Button”
PS My daughter’s boyfriend just told me some people might not know how PayPal works to applaud the blog. Anyone with a bank card or any credit card can go to my PayPal and use that card to send cash to City of Angels Network. We never see your bank card information, your applause gets put on our PayPal account for me to withdraw cash. So if you want to send money to City of Angels Network and help finance investigative reporting on Sex Crimes in the Catholic Church, please click the button that says “Subscribe” in the top left column under “Applaud the Blog.”
We're like slapstick dancers, when you clap real hard, we dance even faster.
Onward through the fog. . .
CALL: Target Crimes, LA DA's Office, to report sex crimes in the Catholic Church: Phone: (213) 974-5985