By Kay Ebeling
I went to bishop accountability to read the stories about each pedophile priest in the database, starting with A. So I opened Rubin Abaya and found "Milla v. Tamayo, 187 Cal.App.3d 1453," where the State dismissed a Los Angeles decision. Abaya was one of seven perpetrator priests. In this case, a teenage girl got gang banged several times by a group of priests in South LA. The LA archdiocese did not deny the crimes took place, but won their
appeal to dismiss the case, because the family sued the church more than a year after the baby that was fathered by one of the priests was born, and besides, it was not the parents who were raped, how were they hurt enough to sue? The men of god tried but could not persuade young very Catholic girl to get an abortion, so they sent her to the Philippines to have her baby in abandoned squalor, until a family member finally found out and brought her home with the baby, both malnourished. That is just the first story under the first entry under A in bishop accountability - and it is so shocking most people reading it would not be able to get past the fact that Catholic priests would gang bang a 14 year old girl.
In 2005 I started getting regular emails from SNAP with a collection of recent news stories, and I had to unsubscribe at the time, as I could not read stories of priests raping altar boys between Masses without getting physically sick, back then. Now I dive into Abuse Tracker every morning and nothing surprises me. I have to stop and think. This could not be good for my soul.
Two “veterans” of the clergy sex assault survivor movement are running events in the coming weeks that open doors for survivors who are ready to take steps in new directions. In Wichita October 10-11, Hope in the Heartland connects clergy sex abuse with survivors of other child sex crimes and other forms of abuse.
“The lines cross,” says conference founder Janet Patterson. “All of us can help each other and so many times where can people go that have been verbally or physically but not sexually abused.” It is not too late to register for Hope in the Heartland this week in Wichita. Write to Janet at snapkansas@hotmail.com .
“It could be that because of our experiences, as horrible as they are, we have something remarkable we can do to the other extreme,” says Jaime Romo, “First step is to get out of the damaged place and start rebuilding.” Romo is running one-day Healing Hearts workshops in Carlsbad October 18 and in Encino November 23rd, in part because after five years running a SNAP group in San Diego, he saw the number of attendees dwindling. For more about Jaime’s workshops and workbook write to him at jr@jaimeromo.com
Romo’s case was part of the 2007 San Diego settlements, and he says, “This is new for me. I have a long career as a teacher of teachers.” These first workshops are free of charge and participants will go through the first two chapters of a workbook Romo has in development.
I plan to use Jaime’s workshop to work on healing the damage I’ve accrued. For years I have been so angry at these entities that are so huge, so overwhelming, the hierarchy of the Roman Catholic Church as well as the entire American justice system from a city to national level, for cooperating with these thugs in gowns instead of seeing their way to the real truth enough to stop serious felony crimes being committed against children. I know I need some spiritual healing.
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Romo said, “For a long time my anger was about wanting something back, as well as the things that had happened, a kind of mourning. I wanted to get back that comforting connection to what was familiar for a long time.”
Spirit and Hope in the Heartland
There is an element of spirit in the roots of Hope in the Heartland conference next week as well.
Organizer Janet Patterson told me how she found the location for the conference: “The Baha’ii faith believe in social justice. So here in Wichita when Baha’ii members found out what had happened to our family, they wanted me to speak to them, so I did speak at a Baha’ii event. Then they were so gracious and non judgmental, I asked them if we could hold a conference there. They said not only that but we'll give you the space free of charge.”What Happened to Janet's Family?
Robert K. Larson molested Eric Patterson when he was a 12 year old altar boy, and at 29, after years of turmoil and hospitalizations and after finally telling people in his family what Larson did, Eric shot himself, committed suicide at age 29. Janet Patterson, grieving over her son, did enough research to find out that bishops knew Larson was a molester and just transferred him, and that this was the modus operandi for a pedophile network in the church. She became an advocate, and spoke to the bishops in Dallas in 2002.
This year is the third Hope in the Heartland conference, and some people, including City of Angels Network Staff of One, had to cancel travel plans, as a result of money disappearing from arenas across the country in late September early October 2008 in America.
I'm only working about 50 percent as much as usual. Last few weeks they've “pulled the plug” on a lot of TV production, even the skinflint budget reality shows on which I, first when the stock market crashed two weeks ago and now who knows what's going to happen.
A side trip about the PayPal campaign
Money to fund productions just dried up. So please click my PayPal button, not to send me on lavish trips to places like Wichita, but to help City of Angels pay the rent in November.
But I digress.
Janet Patterson is reaching out to Wichita area homeless organizations and women’s shelters, inviting them to the Hope in the Heartland conference, which I its third year is still relatively small, under 50 people.
The retreat center in Encino has paths laid out for walking meditation.
I can’t wait. At the retreat center in Encino where Romo’s workshop is in November they have spaces for walking meditation. I rediscovered walking meditation the other day in of all places, the LA Cathedral Plaza, before a SNAP press event was going to take place. I went exploring, and way in the back on the cathedral grounds,
as far away from the street as you can get, is a little landscaped area, large enough for about 10 small trees, and a pathway. It criss crosses and stops in front of statues of animals sculpted with pure whimsy. You can stop and contemplate one of these statues, or do what I did, bringing up from a deep memory from the days I used to spend in yoga ashrams in the 1970s.
You take one step, and stop, repeat a phrase, any phrase, then take another step, stop, repeat the phrase. Some people use the words Hari Om, or some people say Jesus save me, or you can even say God Bless Rock and Roll. The idea is to quiet the mind. On a meditation pathway, there are usually small stones, so you can take one small step then stop, say your mantra, then take one more step.
For a person in Los Angeles this is a challenge, as you always want to just take off across the lawn a straight line to the end, the quickest route. What you develop from this exercise is patience. You HAVE to stop, say god bless rock and roll or hari om or jesus save me, then take the next step and repeat.
About two-thirds of the way through a walking meditation, you start to appreciate the specialness of each moment - and laugh at people walking by in a frenzy as you slowly take your next step. Because in the end, we'll end up in the same place at about the same time anyway. This little meditation walk area on the LA Cathedral property appears to have been designed and maintained by Japanese zen masters posing as landscape workers. . . .
The meditation walks pictured above in this blog are on the grounds of the retreat center in Encino where Jaime Romo is holding his free workshop in November.
I’ll be there, unless I'm singing that Sunday with Hollywood Mass Choir.
Me, I'm going in November, unless we're singing that Sunday (I'm in Hollywood Mass Choir now).
I can’t wait to do these two questions from the workbook: “Which image that I have created or accepted of myself am I willing to let go of? Where did I get that image I have of myself?”
Those questions relate so much to me.
I know that as a result of being sexualized by a priest at such a young age, my image of myself was “party girl”: Fast, cheap, easy, which led to heavy drinking, loud swearing tough woman.
Truth is
That's not me, that's not who I see today.
I'm really this bookish, quiet woman with thick lens glasses who produces a lot more from her head than her body. I mourn today, the decades of my life I lost to pursuing the party animal identity when it wasn’t even real.
It wasn’t even really me.
I have plenty to write in Jaime Romo’s workbook when I get it.
City of Angels will try to run photos and a story through phone interviews with people at Hope in the Heartland next Saturday, so while they are partying in Wichita, we will be here being studious and bookish working with the words and pictures in LA.
Onward...
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