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By Kay Ebeling
We are signing off until next year at City of Angels and in 2009 our ongoing coverage of the pedophile epidemic in the Catholic Church will be at http://cityofangels5.blogspot.com/ .
The word at the top of the page next year is "Hope," in part because of Obama’s election, in part because there have been thousands of lawsuits against the Catholic Church for its pandering to pedophiles, in part because of this paragraph in a book about surviving with PTSD.
“Although Frannie was disabled by her traumatic experience, she was also, in certain ways, empowered by them. Frannie was a natural at using imagery and the altered state to help herself heal. The trance state was her powerful ally, and she was adept at achieving it, rapidly and deeply, thanks to a trauma-induced intensification in her brain’s visual, sensorimotor, and emotional centers.” *
In other words, use your skills at dissociation to get you out of a bad place.
After reading that, when a memory started to interrupt, I tried this technique, and found I can literally jump my thoughts and feelings deep into a piece of music, or a beautiful picture nearby, or just look up and dive into cloud formations in the sky and marvel at the beauty.
It is so easy for me to just dissociate myself away from the memory that is bothering me, BECAUSE I’ve learned to dissociate BECAUSE of the memories. It’s hard to explain, but here’s another place where I'm using this technique.
Since September the PTSD induced pain that some people call fibromyalgia has gotten so bad in my legs I can go weeks without being able to walk. I live up two flights of stairs, so I end up being stranded up here for days, sometimes weeks.
For the first two months or so all I could focus on was how isolated I was. I kept getting angrier and angrier and it wasn’t making the situation any better. So I applied my invisible hero, the imagination that I probably developed because of the hours of dissociation in my life when I was so young.
Now I play Space Station.
Now I have a game I play called Space Station, where I'm no longer stranded in my apartment, I am on duty out in Earth orbit.
Once a day a Space Shuttle brings provisions - the Meals on Wheels hot lunch delivery. I spend hours each day at my work as an astronaut, probing expanses in space where almost no man has gone before - reading through clergy case lawsuit documents to find new stories to write here at City of Angels.
Occasionally I hear from mission control - my daughter or a friend calls or emails.
The very ability to adopt personae that got me through my weird childhood, is now a skill I’ve developed, and I can use and manipulate the dissociation, it is me at the terminal typing in commands. I may end up having a better aging life than a lot of people who never went through enough trauma to learn how to totally take themselves out of a bad experience.
So next year at City of Angels 5 we will report on stories from Florida to Philadelphia, from Maine to Alaska and go document diving in LA and other cities as well.
City of Angels, reporting from high Earth orbit.
The word at the top at City of Angels 5 for 2009 is “Hope” in part because Obama getting elected means a new Department of Justice, in part because thousands of civil lawsuits created a million or so pages of case files, which are a wealth of resources for me and any other journalist who cares to dive in -
Page after page of felonies committed by church hierarchy, in order to keep kids as catamites for their sex-depraved priests.
Catamite - a word humans had taken out of use - making its way back into the language.
Won’t even think about being a catamite again until next year.
Happy Christ-ma-Quanza-Hanukah
The Story Goes Onward
* Quote from "Invisible Heroes: Survivors of Trauma and How They Heal" by Belleruth Naparstek
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9 comments:
Having had chance to back and fro on the disc bd at snap with you; I found the depth of commitment at this blog heartening.
The ptsd thing has long been mysteriously powerful albeit while angrily seperating me from reality.
Ive been into self regulation therapy (out of canada) for two years (as the arch of boston pays without their knowledge btw!) A remapping of the trauma induced pathways in the brain with gentle non invaisive methods. After 20 yrs of regular talk therapy and a variety of directions less chemical, pretty much everything else. I am greatly impressed with SRT as a way to address the mechanical inevitability of ptsd's legacy of a heavy imprint on my emotional map.
The blog is a true source of humanist art truly admirable.
thank you - hope you come back, and keep commenting. . .
The immeasurable contributions you've made to uncovering ongoing wrong-doing,and the heralding you've done about those who continue to work with and for survivors (yourself included)have been a healing gift to your readers.
Blessings and good health to you in the coming year.
The Catholic Diocese of St. Thomas in the US Virgin Islands lost close to $2 million by investing with Wall Street fraudster Bernie Madoff, who defrauded clients of $50 billion. Bishop Herbert Bevard said the money invested with Madoff included the diocese's savings account and endowment fund for Saints Mary and Patrick elementary schools on St. Croix. What I want to know is—Why was a Roman Catholic Diocese in the middle of the Caribbean investing money that belonged to the faithful and poor with a little known high rolling fraudulent Wall Street financier in Manhattan? How did this come to happen? Tell the answer to that, and it will lead to the inside story of the centuries old financial rot in the Church.
Since Bevard had not been there long, what is the name of the person who invested with Madoff? The identity of that person leads to others in the Church’s highly corrupt financial network of schemes, bribes, irregularities and kickbacks that allow Prelates to thieve from the people from one century and continent to the next.
Penny Lernoux, permanently silenced by friends of the Church in the 1980s, wrote about this in her books, In Bank We Trust, Cry of the People, and People of God. These three books infuriated extreme-right pedophile-protecting members of the hierarchy. She was killed for In Banks We Trust, which lays it all out plainly.
From Wikipedia, “After the publication of People of God, Lernoux left Colombia Bogotá to work on a fourth book … Later that year, however, she was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Lernoux died … barely a month after being hospitalized, leaving behind her husband Denis Nahum (later killed in a traffic accident) … She was so private about her life that some supporters, baffled at how she died of cancer so young, wondered whether the death was an assassination by the CIA.” Open your eyes and see, dumb faithful.
Over at bishop-accountability there are, ahem, just a few stories about the, er, minor and short lived, ah, indiscretions, here in Ireland. Of course the Church officials all are upright and honorable men and can be trusted, like Bishop John Magee.
Well, luck o’ the Irish. Why ‘tis the very same John Magee who found the dead body of Pope John Paul I on September 28, 1978, dead in the Papal bed after barely a fortnight, 33 days to be precise, same number o’ days as our dear Lord’s years on earth. ‘Tis a sign o’ somethin’, I tell ya, jus’ not sure what. An’ this mess he created right here in Ireland after all that trouble he had in Italy, why, what in the world is the church comin’ to. Next thing you tell me, they’re gonna make him the Archpriest over at Saint Mary Major or at Paul Beyond the Walls and give him a $250,000 salary and expenses like they did for ole Cardinal Law. Well, I’ll be. Who woulda thunk that all this woulda been goin’ on right here in Ireland under our very own noses.
John Magee, a traitor to his own people. He likes to be called Doctor dontcha know, he’s all highly educated. Says he’s gonna fix the problem, in 2009 the church is gonna stop finally covering up the molestation of little boys and girls by important people, like priests and bishops. I’ll tell ya what I think. I think there’s something rotten in Denmark, er, Ireland, er, Rome.”
From Wikipedia, “It was John Magee who is said to have found Pope John Paul I dead in bed on the morning of 28 September 1978 though his public accounts of the event have been contradictory.” Ole John Magee, now he’s a man that should never be allowed to serve again.
I am excited about the way comments are coming alive here. In 2009 we won't be doing two posts, but all City of Angels stories will be at http://cityofangels5.blogspot.com hopefully with the first story of the year going up on Saturday. Videos to accompany stories will be at City of Angels 6. I own city of angels all the way up to #30 so we have a lot of stories to tell in the next years.
kay
keep commenting, we can really get a dialogue going here... and email me at cityofangelslady@yahoo.com if you want to "phone in your story." I take dictation and will put your story up as is....
Cui bono? Who benefited?
It seems John Magee has done quite well since the death of JPI in 1978. He remained with JPII and in 1982 was made papal Master of Ceremonies. In 1987 JPII appointed him Bishop of Cloyne, Ireland, and he was consecrated on St. Patrick's Day by JPII at St. Peter's Basillica amid lavish royal pomp. He has been bishop of Cloyne for 22 years. T w e n t y - t w o long years to cover up some of the most devastating child abuse cases in the Roman Church.
In January 2007, Opus Dei Cardinal Dziwisz, Archbishop of Krakow and former secretary of JPII for 40 years, published a book of reminiscences of JPII. In the 250 page book, Dziwisz mentions other papal secretaries, but not Magee. Some claim this is just innocent so that Dziwisz maintains primary custody of JPII’s memory. Others, however, have observed this “oversight” has been helpful to Dziwisz, Opus Dei prelates, Magee, and others in the Vatican to have no mention made of Magee’s role at the bedside in JPI’s death. Just forget about it; pretend it never happened. That’s one of the major Roman Church strategies over the years.
Tell the truth, John Magee. That’s something in short supply in Rome, Cloyne or anywhere else the Roman Church operates. It is nothing but an elite wealthy secret society boys club composed of the successors of the Roman Empire.
It was extremely interesting for me to read the article. Thank you for it. I like such themes and anything connected to this matter. I definitely want to read a bit more soon.
Hi Kay my name is Deanna Leonti
clevelandgirl sent me, and we were wondering if you can give her my email address?.
deannaleonti@rocketmail.com
Love your Site!
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